I've heard there was a secret chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord... but you don't really care for music, do ya? 🥹 Thank you Mr. African Security Guy at CAA Theatre for this picture!

I heard about the Leonard Cohen show while riding the TTC (not if I can help it) on my way to the worst job fair ever in North York.

It premiered on Wednesday, and I went to its first matinée show today —Sunday. Until the show started, I didn’t know what to expect: was it gonna be a play, a musical, or a concert? It turned out to be more like a concert, with Leonard Cohen’s songs performed as duets and solos, reimagined as jazz, gospel, soul, and rock 'n' roll. Between the songs, his poems served as remarkably apt (often funny) transitions.

My favorite Cohen song, "Famous Blue Raincoat," was transformed into a rock 'n' roll solo by a Soprano singer, for instance. I’m not a big rock fan, but Hailey Gillis did a great job. Thank you, Mike Ross (or Marni Jackson or Frank Cox-O’Connell), for including that song in the setlist! I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but oh, was I delighted!

The performers

The five singers (two women and three men) each took turns embodying Leonard Cohen, and unlike Cohen's, their voices were incredible. Every singer and every musician delivered a breathtaking performance. One of the singers, Travis Knights, also danced and tap danced even. Admirably. Divine Brown lived up to her name, stealing the whole show like Zeus ravishing Europa. Ben Caplan’s baritone was reminiscent of Cohen’s. Andrew Penner was the ultimate showman. Hailey Gillis was a lovely surprise, since the last time I went to the theatre was in January, when I saw her shine as Nora, the lead character in Ibsen’s A DOLL’S HOUSE (one of my favorite plays).
My body was especially grateful for my favorite instrument to hear live: hand cymbals. The trumpet (Tom Moffett) and the saxophone (Jacob Gorzhaltsan), even the xylophone (Joel Joseph), were simply sublime during that show.

“Hallelujah”

The encore came as no surprise. It's always strange when an artist's most famous song is nowhere near your favorite. I wonder what percentage of people who love Cohen's music and attend shows like this consider "Hallelujah" to be his best song. I also wonder what percentage of people who love "Hallelujah" would actually attend an entire Leonard Cohen show.

1 ticket. 3 pairs of eyes.

Today, my seat was unexpectedly moved closer to the stage, and my ticket was reprinted. I could see much better, but I hadn't brought my brand new opera glasses for nothing. I used them throughout the entire show. Watching a performance through binoculars is a completely different experience. When you wear glasses and have a lazy eye like I do, it can be a bit annoying at first, but I got used to it.

Self-love as self-defence

Taking myself on a date is always an emotional experience. It's one of the rare moments when I truly fathom how lucky I am to be alive. I was singing and dancing among the stiff, quiet white crowd, sometimes I was caressing my arms, my jaw line, and I had a wonderful time.

At the end of the show, in the washroom, I made friends with a very old white lady who walked with an oxygen machine and didn't want to skip the line. She told me she had seen Leonard Cohen in New York long before he was famous. He had come to a poetry night to read a single poem.

When we were done peeing, we waited for her friend, whom I was convinced I'd met before. That friend lit up when she saw me. Were we neighbors? Where did I know her from?
Then she reached out and touched my braids with both hands.

I recoiled: “Don’t touch my hair?” It sounded like a question. As in, “Are you seriously gonna ignore everything Solange said?”

Ew, never mind.

I left without saying goodbye. I found them on the first floor: HOW did they get there before me? I know I’m a Cameroonian, but still! Do white people have secret wheels in their feet that happened to be banned from the Olympics?

A gift for my date

I ignored the group of older hair-touching ladies and reminded myself that the date was not over. I wouldn’t let anyone ruin it. I caressed my arm again and decided to give myself a souvenir. I couldn’t find any merch (that was the venue of the TITANIQUE musical about Céline Dion. That’s where I had got my “Céline fucking Dion” cap. I was hoping for a “Léonard fucking Cohen” something. Anything. There were only vinyls of singers I did not know. So my souvenir was a picture of Cohen and me outside the theatre. The security guy who took it was either West or East African, if not both: a very tall and very cheerful mix of Somalian and Fulani.

During the show, “Leonard Cohen” mentioned “the sexual experience of friendship” (he loves having sex, especially with friends). I would like to mention the romantic experience of self.

Favorite poem

My favorite poem from the show was about the different stages of growing older (from the song "Stages"):

"It went something like this:
You start off irresistible

And, then you become resistible

And then you become transparent

Not exactly invisible, but as if you are seen
Through old plastic

And then you actually do become invisible
And then, and this is the most amazing transformation

You become repulsive

But that’s not, that’s not the end of the story
After repulsive, you become a cute

And that’s where I am"

Keep live arts alive

Get your tickets to THE SECRET CHORD. It won’t be secretly recorded, so don’t miss the chance to experience the poetic presence of an artist who never truly dies.

The final show is August 16 at CAA Theatre (651 Yonge St., Toronto).

Divine Brown also created REVOLUTIONARY WOMEN IN BLUES, a Soulpepper concert running from August 13–23. Save 30% until August 31 via the link soulpepper.ca/mirvish30

My Date at the Leonard Cohen Show