M-Queer Romance: MÄDCHEN IN UNIFORM (1958)

Queer romance that starts with the letter M: the German film MÄDCHEN IN UNIFORM (1958), starring Romy Schneider and Lilli Palmer and directed by Géza von Radványi.

I started watching it a couple of years ago but fell asleep almost immediately. Last night, I finally made it through the whole thing.

Can you believe this is a remake of a lesbian film that originally came out in 1931? (I still have to track that one down.)

It follows Manuela von Meinhardis (Romy Schneider), a young orphan of noble birth who is sent to an all-girls boarding school devoted to discipline. Literally, the writing on the wall reminds the students that "We're not put on this earth to be happy, but to do our duty." Clearly, the school's founders weren't fans of Epicurus or Kierkegaard.

This sign hangs right above Manuela's bed in the dormitory. By the way, it reminds me of the sign that haunts Wille in the queer TV show YOUNG ROYALS.

This leitmotiv contradicts the very first piece of advice Frau von Bernburg gives her: “Each night before falling asleep, say to yourself: ‘I’m going to be really happy here.’”

The teenage girls all wear the same grey-blue uniforms, their hair must be tied up a certain way, they're not allowed to keep diaries, or pretty much have any fun. But even with a few snitches walking around with broomsticks up their asses, fun and games still find a way.

The relationship I would’ve rooted for: Manuela (Romy Schneider) on the left, Edelgard (Ginette Pigeon) on the right. Even if it would’ve been boring. But who knows? Edelgard could’ve had the vibe of actress Aimee Lou Wood (her characters in SEX EDUCATION and THE WHITE LOTUS, you know what I mean?), once she’s in a relationship.

The uniform given to Manuela used to belong to a former student. She's so wealthy that she's surprised it isn't brand new. I was too. I mean, everyone at this school comes from the nobility, so why are they wearing hand-me-downs? Turns out the school is about degrowth and sustainability. So avant-garde of them.

Manuela finds embroidery of two sets of initials inside a heart, sewn into the lining of her uniform: the previous owner had fallen in love with her teacher, Elisabeth von Bernburg (Lilli Palmer). Well, that uniform must be cursed (or blessed, depends on how you see this) because Manuela too will fall hard for Frau von Bernburg. They even kiss on screen several times.

Frau von Bernburg kisses every girl in the dormitory on the forehead before saying goodnight. Nasty habit, if you ask me. This is Manuela’s first night, and look at the way she gazes into her eyes. Frau von Bernburg herself was not expecting this, she flustered and looked away real quick! Muahahaha! Amazing silent acting, by the way. Both of them.

My favourite character was Ilse von Westhagen (Sabine Sinjen), who stole every scene she appeared in. I also loved the terrifying headmistress (Therese Giehse). Also, shoutout to Marthe Mercadier, who plays Madame Aubert. She speaks perfect German and perfect French. Even the princess of Prussia (Adelheid Seeck), when she pays a visit to the boarding school, greets her in perfect French. As I said in the post about IN THE FRENCH STYLE:

“They don't make them like this anymore...“

I would've rooted for the romance if it had been between two students. (A very cute girl has a crush on Manuela from day 1, another one shows zero interest in the male heartthrobs of Prussian cinema.)

Marga (Gina Albert) gives off strong lesbian dominatrix vibes; she would've made an excellent suitor for Manuela.

Oh sweetie

Suffice to say that in my book, Elisabeth von Bernburg was grooming those girls, whether she intended to or not. Actions matter more than words like, "You're all my children. I don’t belong to you, but to everybody."

Yeah, right.

I would have thrown her ass in jail if she hadn't made the decision she does in the final scene. Which was the adult and responsible choice to make. About time.

Up next on my watchlist: a non-queer romance that start with N, a biopic that starts with O and a comedy that starts with P. Is it the middle of the alphabet yet? Are we almost there? I don’t wanna know. Let’s get it over with, I’m having fun, but I miss TV shows.