W-”Queer” “Romance”: WICKED (2024) & WICKED FOR GOOD (2025)
Once again, a film that was advertised (to me, at least) as a queer romance turned out to be neither queer nor a romance. CHALLENGERS was supposed to be my “queer romance that starts with a C,” and it was super straight (no, two men kissing for two seconds in order to have sex with a woman is not queer). And now I was supposed to watch a “queer romance that starts with a W,” so I picked WICKED, remembering that I had been told many times that there was a lesbian subtext in the relationship between G(a)linda (Ariana Grande) and Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo).
Part 1 starts with the announcement that Elphaba, “the Wicked Witch of the West,” is dead. The Ozians rejoice and praise their leader, Glinda, the epitome of “good.” She is so far from being good, but that’s the whole point.
Ariana Grande really nailed that role, as “perfect” Glinda. I think it’s my first time seeing her act in anything. (I did watch DON’T LOOK UP, but I don’t remember her at all.)
Then Glinda remembers her friendship with Elphaba, that started as enemies, then rivals fighting over the same… cis man! But the cis man was Fiyero played by our gayest Jonathan Bailey, so I still had hope!
My romantic expectations
I expected:
Elphaba to hook up with Glinda (enemies to rivals to lovers, duh)
Fiyero to hook up with that Munchkin Boq (Ethan Slater)
That’s what a queer romance is! Right?!
Right?!
I don’t understand how a musical, a genre that is both made and watched by queer people, can turn out to be so straight.
But they said “To Be Continued”, so I kept the faith! Isn’t green the color of hope?
I want to sue whomever made this titlecard
Part 2 was queer-baiting at its worst!
Until now, you may have thought that I was projecting, I had convinced myself that there was a queer storyline, a lesbian subtext, and blah blah blah. Don’t worry: i, too, have been gaslighting myself while watching Part 1! But this titlecard of Part 2 over a field of flowers in the colors of the lesbian flag is not a figment of my imagination.
This scene never even happens. It’s just Elphaba imagining what her future with her platonic best friend could've been.
Not that I want to see Erivo and Grande scissoring or anything (well…), but the shadow of a fling between their two characters wouldn’t have hurt. At least a repressed crush, some double-entendres, give me something! NO.THING. On the contrary, this is what I got:
A lesbian actress and a gay actor kissing.
I didn’t know queer-baiting was a thing until now. I thought the queers were overreacting. Nope, it’s a thing. It’s about casting queer actors, promoting the film as queer, and giving nothing, not even a subtext only queer eyes could decipher. I’ve been scammed.
Noteable quotes
“Happiness is what happens when all your dreams come true” - Glinda, who couldn’t be wrongier (in Part 2)
“Take it from a wise old carny
Once folks buy into your blarney
It becomes the thing they'll most hold onto
Once they've swallowed sham and hokum
Facts and logic won't unchoke 'em
They'll go on believing what they want to
Show them exactly what's the score
They'll just believe it even more”- The Wizard of Oz (Jeff Goldblum), on cults (in Part 2)
“I don’t see color, by the way.” - Pfanee (Bowen Yang) pretending not to have noticed that Elphaba was green (in Part 1)
Oh yeah, that film messed with my English! As someone who speaks English as a foreign language, it was not always easy to tell the difference between real words and Oz words. Also, Elphaba’s English was not “Ozian”, so I am starting to think that maybe the Ozians are just stupid.
I liked the philosophical aspect of this film. I wish I could explore it more deeply. The questions of good and evil (isn’t the real villain the people?), cults (as sung by Jeff Goldblum), the death penalty, and living in a bubble (in industrialized countries), the question of the evolution of language, the question of race…
Those films (Parts 1 and 2) were good, the score was boring (in my opinion, musicals must have unforgettable songs), the vocal performances were awesome, and the queerness was… right-wing.
Up next on my watchlist: A film that starts with X, another that starts with Y, and the final film of the challenge, one that starts with Z. For those last three letters, I figured the genres didn’t matter.